Major panic

No morning sickness today thank goodness. But I had a major panic instead. I realised that I only had enough progesterone support to last me until Monday night. That was okay until I phoned up to order more (no - you can't get it where I live, it has to be couriered) but the courier company doesn't work on a Sunday and then Tuesday is a holiday here. And because the progesterone needs to be refrigerated, they won't send it if it's going to be sat around in a warehouse somewhere for a day, so they won't send it until Wednesday and won't arrive here until Thursday. So then major hormonal panic ensued thinking I'd just ruined everything and I would lose the baby on Tuesday since I wouldn't have any progesterone left and my body won't be making enough on its own yet. Finally logic crept in after sobbing my eyes out, and I sent the midwife a text. She called me back immediately, asked me if I was okay and I blubbed down the phone to her that I was 'a bit worried'. lol She laughed and told me not to worry, there was another form of progesterone (it's a pill I shove up my foo foo instead of a gel) that I could take once I run out, every 8 hours, until the new stuff arrives. And breathe...

First morning sickness

Oooof. I think I'm starting with morning sickness. Last night and this morning I'm feeling really queasy. Really hoping it doesn't get any worse than this. But it means I'm still pregnant so I'm trying to enjoy that thought more than I'm disliking the queasy feeling. I would be happier with just the twinges and twangs going on down there. And I am getting a lot of them at the moment, really feels like there's some uterus stretching going on... I am sooooo curious to know if I'm growing one or two babies!!!

First scan booked!

The midwife called me back today and I'm going to have to make a special trip for my scan, which is going to be on May 4th and should make me 6 weeks + 1. Might juuuuuust be lucky enough to catch a heartbeat, but if not, I know it's still too early to worry. But fingers crossed. And fingers crossed that there's something there! So I'll be flying in in the afternoon, taxi to the clinic, hang around for an hour or so, have my scan, taxi back to the airport and last flight back home. And that'll be me $438 lighter before I've even paid for the scan. At some point I need to decide if I'm going to carry on with my RE who also happens to be an ob/gyn and do these flights but have access to the best/ latest equipment etc or find someone locally. And I've also now decided what health insurance to get so need to take that out soon. Thankfully here there's a law where they can't hammer you for pre-existing conditions and everything simply kicks in the month after you take out the policy

1st hCG beta result

Got my result - 755 mIU/ml. That's now got me debating how far along I am. I thought I was 4w+5 today and one IVF due date calculator has me at 4+5 while another has me at 4+4. My test was yesterday so if I was at 4+3 then my result is fine because it should be between 400 and 1000. But if I was at 4+4 yesterday then things may not be so good because it should be between 1050 and 2800. But I guess the important thing is that it's doubled by the next time, assuming that they ask for me to go for another one. The test results sheet has much broader ranges though and just says: 4 weeks: 50 - 500 5 weeks: 100 - 5000 6 weeks: 1000 - 50000 2nd - 3rd month: 10000 - 100000 So I guess I shouldn't worry about it. Update: Just got my call and they're happy with the results, no need for another one. Now I'm to make an appointment for a scan in two weeks time. But it's never easy. My RE is the one who does the scans. He gets back from holiday the day before I head off on holiday for 3 weeks and doesn't attend at the clinic until half an hour before my flight which is obviously not going to work out. So the midwife is going to talk to him about it and will call me back tomorrow to see what he suggests. It's never simple with me!

4w+4

Went for my blood test today and I've got to wait until 6pm tomorrow until I can pick up my result. It's like some cruel form of torture!!!

4w+3

Yesterday I felt very little during the day, to the point it had me wondering. But in the evening I felt a few very mild, but reassuring, little twinges here and there and that metallic taste. And this morning I took my second to last hpt before my blood test tomorrow, and wow it appeared, like yesterday, immediately, but today really dark! This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 640x463. And here's the haul of tests I've done. Tomorrow's one is a tray and pipette test so we'll see if I can manage to figure out how to do it, and then I'm going to stop testing. After I've done that I'm going to pop down to the clinic and go and get my first blood test. I'm so curious what the result is going to be.

Wow - we really are pregnant!

Well after almost a year and a half of unsuccessfully trying, I finally went and got my bloods checked out. Turns out I'm a fairly serious case of premature ovarian failure. At 37 years old, I've got FSH of almost 26, AMH of only 0.2 and only 6 antral follicles. All pretty dire really and I would be turned away from most IVF clinics in the US & UK. Luckily I live in South America and came across an excellent RE who didn't hesitate to take me on. Well he managed to get 4 good eggs out of me, 3 fertilised (using ICSI - due to my age though, my husband's SA was perfect), and 2 developed nicely and where transferred back. And now 12 days later, I've been getting BFPs (for the first time ever!!!!) for the past 4 days. This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 768x1024. As of yesterday, I came out of denial and started accepting it's real. I told my parents and my sister yesterday because even if this doesn't last, this may be the one and only time that I'm ever able to get pregnant, and I wanted them to be able to share this happy time. And bizarrely, my mother said that she'd already guessed and had already mentioned that she thought I was pregnant to my father and sister. I've also decided that I'm going to try and not worry about things and try to live in the moment and enjoy everything while it lasts. It can all go wrong up until the very last minute, and I don't want to worry for all those minutes. I've started getting a few symptoms too. This is today's haul so far: I'm getting loads of twinges and mini-cramps, I taste blood/metal at the back of my throat, I have a sense of smell that should belong to a superhero, I had to take a nap after lunch today I was so tired, but that might have just been down to not sleeping too well last night, & I feel mildy queasy from time to time but a soda cracker and some water so far seems to settle that. Hubby's also being lovely. We're planning a holiday at the moment and planning to meet up with some friends of his and their wives/ girlfriends. But he's already changing the plan from dinner and all night drinking to a lunch time affair so that I won't have to suffer being sober and getting too tired. Bless him. I love that man so much!!!

10dp3dt

After so long and so many stark white hpts, I'm having a little trouble believing it's true. Very cautious as it could all so easily disappear before otd, or at any point after that, and I also have this fear that it's still the trigger in me, even though I can't find anything about the Ovidrel trigger hanging around for 15 days, but then again, I could be the weird one. I did another test this morning with FMU and it looked like this after 8 minutes, the line appeared after about a minute. This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 640x480. I was also lucky enough to catch DH online right after so sent it to him. I think he was very much in work mode and I don't think he was expecting it because he just seemed shocked. Happy, but shocked. He's also quite rightly being cautious (he did tell me not to test and wait for the beta a few days ago) and said, now we just need to wait for the beta tests and see what they say. We'll see what he's like when we speak after he's finished work and he'll be a bit more relaxed and it'll have had time to sink in a bit... Update: I spoke to DH again today and I was right, I had completely blind sided him! He said that he's chuffed to bits [over the moon] but to be honest, although he'd been keeping my spirits up saying that he had a good feeling about this cycle, he honestly thought it was going to take us at least 2 cycles of ivf to get to this point, so seeing this bfp really surprised/ shocked him. Poor hubby!

My Daddy's 70th birthday & my first ever BFP!

ok, I've caved and just got back from buying 7 hpts at the pharmacy. It's been almost 2 hours since my last wee so just have to hold out for another hour at least and then I will start poas today and then in the mornings. I just can't bare the waiting and think I would rather be braced for any potential bad news before otd... though I'm hoping it'll be more of a case of being able to start celebrating a day or two before ofd. who knows... I lasted almost 4 hours before I tested around 4pm. This was a bit of a surprise, but I'm not getting excited just yet... 3 minutes after taking test: This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 1022x766. 5 minutes after: This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 1022x766. 8 minutes after: This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 1022x766. I'm 12dpo and 14 days since I took my Ovidrel trigger shot. I've read rare cases where the trigger's hung around for 14 days. So I'm still fully expecting a bfn tomorrow when the trigger should definitely be gone. Roll on tomorrow morning and getting that answer... But whatever it is, it made me smile because it's the first time in my life that I've seen those two lines. However, if it is a bfp tomorrow, then I'm telling DH!

8dp3dt

I've been pretty symptomless until today. ok, the odd twinge here and there which I've just written off to 'it could be anything'. and today i've got cramps as though I was on the heaviest day of af. well, i don't get cramps as such, just a very sort of heavy feeling, and i only ever get it for one day during af. and that's totally how i feel today. i'm 8dp3dt or 11dpo and i'm a pretty spot on 13 or 14 day luteal phase person, so a bit early for this feeling normally. really hope it's not af trying to show up early! i am starting to get tempted to start POAS... but should probably wait until about friday as I've read the ovidrel trigger can hang around for up to 14 days... though it would be kinda fun to see two lines for the first time, even if they weren't real. Tempting...

5dp3dt

The clinic said they'd call yesterday to let me know about the 3rd embryo as they needed to check the lab records, but they didn't. So I sent a text today asking if there was any news and I've just had a text back saying that nothing was frozen as the embryo continued developing with multiple nuclei in the cells. Even if they had decided to transfer that embryo and it implanted, it would have resulted in a spontaneous miscarriage at some point anyway, so I'm fine with that. I suppose the consolation prize there is that the embryo did in fact continue developing and didn't arrest which would suggest that the transferred embryos are hopefully still going as well. So now we've literally got all our eggs in one basket (my uterus). lol Fingers crossed! Oh and 5dp3dt and feeling the odd twinge down there but I'm not sure I've paid that much attention to feelings like that before so I've got no idea if I normally feel those sorts of things anyway. I'm also getting the odd hot flush now and then which is most likely the progesterone. Other than that, I feel just like I do normally.

4dp3dt

I finally got my AMH results back today. A bit late considering I've now completed the IVF cycle, but I'm glad my RE didn't wait for them because all they do is confirm what we already knew - that I've got very low ovarian reserve... 0.2ng/ml. I sent the results to my RE and he just emailed back 'hahahaha - but we got eggs out of you anyway!'. lol I think my body's adjusting to the progesterone now. My boobs are no longer painful, though still a bit sore and I'm getting less and less cranky. I'm feeling my ovary less and less. Today I had the faintest of cramps, probably due to the progesterone. They were meant to call today to tell me about the 3rd embryo but didn't so I sent a text asking if there was any news. I got a text back saying I'd get a call tomorrow as they would need to check the lab records. I'm assuming that means that the 3rd one didn't make it, otherwise I'm sure they would have called once they'd made the decision to freeze it... to ask for more money.

2dp3dt

As for feelings, I'm uber hormonal and very easily offended. lol I think it's a good thing hubby's away at the moment. Every now and then I can feel my left ovary. I guess it's still recovering from the egg retrieval. And I've had a couple of crampy twinges where I think my uterus is, once last night and once this morning. Other than that I'm feeling pretty normal, and if it wasn't for the photo from the ET, it would all seem like a bit of a dream. Hope our two little ones are snuggling in nicely.

Embryo transfer - Easter Sunday

Well I had my 3d transfer today. According to the Dr he's put back 2 perfect embryos into my perfect uterus. The 3rd one's still going but has one cell with 3 nuclei. They're going to wait until Wednesday to see if it fragments & heals itself in which case they'll freeze it, if not then not because it would never be viable anyway. My Dr was so so happy that we've completed the IVF cycle & been able to put two good embryos back. He said to be honest he wasn't actually holding out much hope for a result like this with FSH as high as mine and an AFC as low as mine. So he was chuffed to bits, and even rubbed my tummy! But oh my goodness that was hard work having a full bladder! lol Fingers crossed now, and roll on the 23rd when I go for my blood test. I've been taking it really really easy this afternoon/ evening. I'm up relatively early tomorrow to calmly pack and be out of the apartment and then I've got an early evening flight back home. Looking forward to getting home.

Fertilisation results

I got my call from the clinic & of my 4 eggs, 3 have fertilised. So I'm booked in for Sunday morning for a day 3 transfer. Now it's fingers crossed they make it that far. I'm so excited and hopeful it's untrue, but at the same time I'm terrified and don't want to get my hopes up, just to have them dashed. My clinic will only transfer a maximum of 2... assuming that many survive. I'm now taking an estrogen pill every 12 hours and using progesterone gel also every 12 hours. I'm just feeling hopeful and nervous I guess.

Egg retrieval

Well my trigger shot was the night before last at exactly 2130. And then rather unexpectedly I burst out crying. Relief, excitement, anxious...??? And now I'm just back from my ER. I'm a little sore but nothing major... might take some paracetamol in a bit just to be on the safe side. And they got 4 good eggs out of me. I was so happy I burst out crying (again! lol) when my RE told me. There nurses were teasing him for making me cry.  So I'm quietly hopeful. At least we've got over this hurdle. Next one... fertilisation. And they're going to call me tomorrow morning to let me know how many have made it that far. Fingers crossed! Update: I had been feeling really normal, then had lunch and came over all space cadet-y. It was quite a cool feeling actually. So I went for a lie down to sleep it off and woke up 3 hours later. lol I'm guessing that was the sleep I should have had at the clinic, rather than being bored sat in a bed there and watching criminal minds on the telly.

Last day of injections

Sorry not been updating but I've been in my own little happy world trying to stay as chilled out and relaxed as possible. Well, my right ovary has decided not to play ball at all and from having two very small follicles now is doing nothing at all. But my left ovary is doing its best and from having 4 antral follicles, now has 5 follies on the go. I had my 4th scan yesterday and they are all looking good with the dominant being 17mm and the other 4 not far behind. So the Dr has still got me stimming, right up to and including the night of my trigger shot... tonight! Can't say I'm hugely looking forward to doing 3 injections in a row, but at least that will be the end of it. And I'm booked in for my egg retrieval on Thursday morning, which as far as I can guess will have me doing my egg transfer (fingers crossed we get that far!) on Easter Sunday??? I'll be surprised if they're working then, but we shall see. It would be a good day for doing eggy things though wouldn't it?! lol I've had to run all over town trying to get just one extra day of meds and managed to find a pharmacy that sold single vials of Menopur. It's so expensive, I don't want to have to fork out the extra money to end up with a spare vial. Then last night I realised that I didn't have any needles for the injection so today I've had a complete mare trying to find the right size needle. I'm having to compromise a little as they sold me an insulin syringe 29G 1/2" but the needle doesn't come off for mixing. Then they didn't sell the big mixing needles on their own so had to buy a huge syringe that I can take that needle off of. Then I realised that they'd sold me the insulin needle so went back and asked for one that I could take the needle off but when I got back I realised that it is 25G 5/8". The ones I've been using up till now have been 27G so there's no way I'm sticking a 25G into me if I don't have to. So I'm going to improvise tonight with how to get the mixed up Menopur into the insulin needle. I'm in half a mind to just pull the plunger out and fill it from the top and hope I don't lose too much of it when I put the plunger back in and in half a mind to risk blunting the tip of the needle and tipping the Menopur vial upsidedown and just getting as much out as I can. Not sure which is the lesser of the two evils.