Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Emotional healing or just numb???


Well today (so far) has been a good day, and is the first day that I haven't cried. I've come close a couple of times but haven't. Then again, there's been a lot going on today - we almost got burgled last night and the day's been spent organising getting our wall fixed - so I haven't had a lot of downtime to dwell on things. Also it might help that I booked my follow up appointment with my RE today. I'm assuming he'll be giving me the results of the tests I had done, so maybe it's having that to look forward to that's cheered me up a little - the possibility of having some answers to what went wrong, if there are any answers to give. Although I really don't want to do it again and I'm terrified that it won't work, I am already chomping at the bit to get on with the next round of IVF and to be positive about it as well.

Physically, yesterday and today I've had a sore abdomen. I think it's my body telling me to chill out and take it easier than I have been. I've still got terrible baby bloat going on which is a bit upsetting but nowhere near as upsetting as it was knowing our dead baby was still inside me, now it's just plain bloat. My boobs are still big, and I'm secretly hoping they will magically stay that way, even though I know they won't. I'm still bleeding but only very lightly and every now and then the odd random bit of tissue is still coming out.

So I'm off to see my RE on Tuesday.

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