Injection #2

Just finished doing my 2nd injection. There's definitely a little technique to this which I'm sure I'll perfect in days to come. Today, I don't know if I was too cocky, or I just didn't pinch up enough of a fat bit, but I felt the needle pinch and I had to push a little to get it to go on, whereas yesterday I really felt nothing at all and there was no resistance to the needle either. Mind you it was still only the tiniest pinch, so not bad at all. Maybe I just got a tough old leathery bit of tummy skin. lol Anyway, I did the injection itself a lot slower today and I didn't get the sting/soreness that I got yesterday. I had a little throb as I was tidying up all the vials at the end but again nothing to write home about. Also, I put my pjs on first instead of having tight jeans sitting on the injection site after, and then lay down on the bed to watch some telly, so I don't know if that made any difference. So I just need to perfect the not feeling that little pinch as the needle goes in, and I've got it sorted. Oh yes, and if I can manage not to stab myself again in the finger with the big mixing needle like I did tonight, that would be good too. Hehe - what a numpty... and it bled quite a lot! lol And where I injected myself yesterday now feels a little bruised. Dunno if that's normal or because I did it too quickly yesterday. We'll see what today's one feels like tomorrow. So there we go, that's day 2 of 10 days of injections done.

1st Menopur injection

Well last night was the big day. I took ages to mix up my 4 vials of the stuff and get the airbubbles out. I hadn't realised there was going to be so much liquid to inject! Ok, so it's only 1ml, but in a skinny syringe it looks like loads. So when I was ready, I hit record on the iPhone so that hubby could share in the experience, sat down on the lid of the toilet, deep breath out and just did it. And guess what, I didn't feel a thing! I thought I was injecting it slowly but I might try for even slower tonight because about a minute after I was done, I felt something between a sensation of stinging and sore - but only slight, it wasn't really anything to write home about. That lasted for about a minute or two and then was gone. All I can think was that it was liquid finding itself a place to go. And then when I was done I noticed that my hands were shaking like mad. But tonight's going to be so easy now that I know what I'm dealing with and that it doesn't hurt. So come on follies and eggs... grow, grow, grow... big and beautiful. Hubby and I are not wanting loads, just enough to make one perfect, beautiful baby.

March 23rd, 2012

Well af arrived today... well, late last night, so I start with my first injection tomorrow. How do I feel? excited, Nervous, apprehensive / worried we won't get any decent eggs out of me. But there's only one way to find out. I guess I like to be prepared and ready for a step or two ahead, so I read up a lot yesterday on donor eggs. It's really not something that I want to consider. But if my eggs really are no goers then I think that it is something I could live with. I want desperately to pass on my DNA, but I also desperately want a baby with my husband, and just because I may not be able to do the former doesn't mean that I would not want the latter. But it still makes me well up at the thought of not being able to pass on my genes. Weird isn't it, how that's even something that matters. I guess that's what people talk about mourning the loss of their DNA. And in a way, I suppose I'm trying to prepare myself for that, but I really really hope that it's not going to be something that I have to do. But again, there's only one way to find out. We only need one perfect egg for it to happen... Roll on tomorrow evening and getting this thing started!

March 22nd, 2012

My internet's been very temperamental so just a quick update before it cuts out again. Meds have arrived & just been to the loo and looks like af is on her way. After being on this bcp, I have no idea if that means it'll be here tomorrow or if it'll be like my normal one which would mean it's still a day or two away. Either way, it's soon!

HSG / AFC / IVF lesson

Well yesterday went pretty well, but I'll warn you, this'll probably be quite long, so you may want to get yourself comfortable... Had my HSG, which didn't go to plan at all. She tried the first time to get the dye to go up me, but no, it decided to just all come out onto the table. So everything had to start from the beginning again, same again the second time - apparently my cervix is quite 'ample' in its bottom two thirds. So she then went for a balloon catheter to make it get up there. So not only did I have to endure 3 attempts, I also had the pleasure of being charged an extra $100 for the joy of having a balloon catheter shoved up me. I took your advice and took 400mg of ibuprofen before I set off for the clinic, but she also had an excellent hand and apart from the discomfort of the speculum, I didn't feel a thing. Which leads on to the fact my tubes were clear, which seems to be the main cause of people's pain. I have some adhesions on my left tube but that doesn't matter since we're going straight to IVF. There's no fluid in my tubes which is what my RE was worried about and he also said that my uterus is perfect for housing a baby. I bled a little after and then spotted for a few hours, had some very mild cramps and that was it. Then I went to my RE and had my baseline scan and antral follicle count - 4 on the left - the side with the tube with adhesions - and 2 on the right. No wonder we weren't getting pregnant naturally! lol Not many, but exactly what was expected for someone diagnosed as a low responder. My RE reassured me that with my diagnosis, we're not looking for quantity here, only quality. I'm guessing he was happy with that as he then called his IVF programme coordinator and had her run across the city to come and see me and get me up and running on the programme. So she turned up 90 minutes later, talked me through the IVF procedure, how to do my injections and then gave me my protocol. So I take my last BCP on the 19th, then on the second day of my period, start with Menopur for 5 or 6 days, then come in for a scan to see how I'm doing, when the RE's happy, I'll start also injecting Orgalutran. Then when my eggs get big enough, I take a day's break and then inject Ovidrel. If all goes well (which it very well may not) she reckons they'll be doing egg harvesting on April 4th and then the transfer back on the 7th!!! Blimey, it all seems to be going very quickly now... we only met with the RE for the first time on March 5th! I know the RE had said with FSH levels as high as mine we don't have any time to waste, but I didn't realise just how much he seems to have meant that. And then I got on a plane and flew home. Got to order my drugs today and I think I'm going to look at renting an apartment near the RE for a few weeks so I don't need to be spending so much with travel and hotels.

No mucking around - straight to IVF / ICSI

So here I am again, but I think I'll be updating this a bit more often now that we've stopped trying for a natural pregnancy and only being able to try once every 12 weeks thanks to DH's job. So to get back up to speed, I've done my initial bloods and I came back with high LH and really really high FSH (26). I've done an AMH test but still have to wait about another month for the results though I don't think they really matter too much now. I've done a second FSH test and my result was right in the middle of the normal range. Our RE says that's because I'm in an oscillating phase but it's good that it came back low. He's diagnosed me as a low responder and recommended that we go straight to ICSI/IVF. DH's sperm analysis came back completely normal so all's good from his side which is good, so while DH was home, we had some of his sperm frozen so that we can crack on with the IVF while he's away. So the RE has put me on the pill for now and 5mg of folic acid. I've still got to do my HSG so will be doing that Wednesday morning followed by a baseline ultrasound with the RE in the afternoon. He'll then decide on what cocktail of drugs he is going to give me. DH and I have also put a plan of action together. We're going to give IVF a maximum of 4 tries. If no luck by that point, we'll move onto the donor egg option. And if no luck there, we will look to adopt. I would really like my genes to be involved in our future family, but if they can't be then they can't be (that sounds very nonchalant but trust me I have cried and mourned the loss of my genes from the minute I got that first FSH result), and at least we are in a place where we are actually looking at starting our family one way or another relatively soon. So here we go...